Laugh A Little

it's been a while

2005-05-21T02:55:33Z

I swear, I always swear that I'll update these things, but then i get sucked into my space and I never do. I'm going to try my best though. So well, only like 2 more weeks of school left. And i've only have three exams. That's exciting. I just got home from Nate's surprise party. That was fun. I swear I was born in the wrong era. I was meant to be born in the '40s and '50s, I danced to all the old songs. Hehe I'm such a nerd.

Anyway, on a deeper note. I feel like those who are close to me are somewhat drifting away. I feel like no matter how hard I try, they seem to slip from my grasp. It's really depressing. I'm going to try to focus on making myself happy, and then maybe those people will come back to me. Well that's all for tonight. Later children.

-mj

let's look to the stars and pretend we're airplanes

2005-05-05T01:52:04Z

*lets show them how to live accept the pain always forgive watch the sun go down learn the sound of
following all that is complete

its breathtaking to think of you and to learn without faith that the sky isn't as blue its mindnumbing to think of
yesterday we'll look toward the stars and dream that we're airplanes

i heard you say its enlightening to think of the breeze
when you watch the sun set, think of me
so here we go*

-This day and age

Leave me one of your most profound thoughts.
-mj

You're a star in nobody's eyes but mine

2005-05-03T01:26:18Z

Well, today was a trying day, one of the most trying days in my life. I had two AP tests, English and Human Geography. That's about 7 to 8 hours of testing right there. I had to go straight to work after my tests. Surprisingly though I'm in a very good mood. I can't write tonight though because espanol is calling my name. But leave a thought and tell me how you are.

*One reason we sing is because it reaches a depth that words alone can not*

-mj

Let's show em how to live

2005-05-01T22:29:58Z

Well hey, I haven't written in this thing in a long time. I went back and read all my previous entries from January. Wow, so much has changed since then. I literally don't even feel like the same person. Let me just update on formalities:

The Butler Varsity Cheerleading squad won out last two competitions which makes us undefeated. So glad it's over.

I'm vice-president of the western district of student councils in north carolina and kenz is treasurer. The convention is going to be held AT butler this year. That's exciting.

The mono is gone, and has been gone since the middle of January.

AP tests are this week and next week, thank goodness.

That's really all that's news worthy. Anyhow, my granpa just said something really meaningful. Just take a while and ponder this quote.
"Thinking will get you in trouble." In some cases that is so true.

I am so thankful, so lucky, and so blessed because I have someone so very special enter my life. He's the brightest firefly in my jar. Sometimes it is the perception that fate can be cruel. On the contrary it has a bigger plan in store for you, something beautiful is coming into the picture. Something unique, unlike anything else ever to come along. All I know is that I am so happy right now. So happy. Leave a thought so we can catch up.

-mj

just so tired

2005-01-23T17:54:30Z

Well it's cold outside. Really cold, really depressing. Not doing much good for Mallory. I'm trying to be happy, but it's hard. The surealness of friday night still hasn't sunk in yet. Practice will be weird Monday. Three of my best friends, gone. I admire them so much for standing up for themselves and for everyone else on the squad. I wish I had the balls to do that, but deep down, despite ms. warr, i want to keep cheering.
Well enough on that subject. My birthday is in like less then a month. Kinda happy. Although i dont know, it's just weird. I feel kinda lost. Like i'm thinking about everyone going to college and getting out of the hell hole called school, and then i realize. I have one more long year to spend there. It just makes me sad. It also feels like spring break, prom, and summer are soo far away. And it's sooo cold outside. Maybe I have that seasonal disorder thing, you know where women get depressed in the winter, but happy in the summer. Look at that, there I go again with my hypochrondiatic self again. I think I'm going to stop writing in this from now on. I don't think anyone ever reads it, and no one leaves comments, and thats the fun part. Oh well.

the sky was bright tonight

2005-01-21T02:55:05Z

Tonight was perfect. Nothing else said.

mmm hmmm

2005-01-20T03:58:11Z

Well I'm updating this thing b/c j. tran will kick me if i don't. so hmm, the weekend. Well we won 1st again at the competition so now we are 3 for 3. Yay another t-shirt. Of course i got yelled at though. My car also got egged Saturday night. Thank you to whoever did that. Sunday night was just amazing. Enough said. :) Monday, it was alright. Went shopping for prom dresses and found this beautiful yellow one. I'm still not sure though. Yesterday was bad, I was really stressed AND got yelled at again. Today was alright. School was SO boring, but the game went by fast. I mean damn, how stuck up can the myers park people be? Tomorrow is thursday! I'm excited, i have plans!:) yay haha. Well i'm going to bed now. leave a thought.

-mj

so many nights, out legs tangled tight

2005-01-13T01:41:12Z

I'm tired. I had to work extra tonight, but thats alright, I had super cute little boys! I can't say much tonight because I am so excited! Well I'm going to eat dinner and take a bath, then sleep! Much love ya'll. Leave a thought.

mj

I conquered it

2005-01-08T02:02:30Z

Well today was a verry verry looooooong day. Putting all exams aside, I had an appointment at 12:30 to get a CT scan. Well so I went, and they put an IV in and administered this medicine, i think it was dye, and it turned my whole body warm. It was so weird. And then I went to another doctor to get the xrays interpreted. Turns out, my spleen is fine. HOWEVER, my intestines have a problem, like they're twisted inside themselves. So i go to this other doctor, a kid's surgeon and he pokes and prodes me. He says that he thinks it will just go away but he wants another CT with the oral dye. So we go to the hospital. Well it turns out that i have to drink this awful grape, metal-ish stuff, I have to drink a tall glass of it every 30 minutes three times. Then I had to wait 30 more minutes after that to get scanned. Then finally I was done and the RTR says you'll have ot wait for another 30 minutes so we can call the doctor and he gets results and see if it's okay for you to leave and bla bla bla. Well 30 minutes passes and i'm about to pass out or throw up from that medicine crap, and he says I can leave. I won't know the real results until Monday when the doctor gets back in his office. Man, what a way to keep someone in suspense. I am so tired, and this weekend is going to be soooo busy.I have to study, get kelz and beck's presents, go out to dinner and then go on a fiasco with them afterwards. Although I don't know how well i'll be and if i should or something. ANYWAY I think I'm too tired to type now. Speak, tell me there's nothing to fear!!

mj

imjust_mallory @ 2005-01-06T19:22:00

2005-01-07T00:34:06Z

Well hmm. Today's exam was alright. I got an 86 on it and made a B in english for the semester. Hallelujah. I had to make up two labs as well, they were alright. And Ashley W. is so amazing! I owe you big! At practice, I had to sit out again. The spleen has been bothering me. It really hurts. And I'm even more discouraged because Big Red won't let me fly anymore. I mean she deliberatly does not want me to fly. Oh well, too bad I don't think I'm going to be a cheerleader next year.

So I went to the doctor when I got home, and he felt around my spleen and got all freaked out. He wanted me to get a CAT scan and IV tonight, but no doctor was on call and we didn't want to have to pay the expenses of a hospital. Sooo I have to do all that tomorrow after my two hardest exams. I'm so scared. I just want to crawl in bed and wake up on my birthday, then sleep until summer. Oh and I want to take one minute to thank whoever left that anonymous comment, I know it had to be jordan or frankie or one of his gay friends. Just to make it clear, I don't care about that situation. It will eventually end up bad anyway, so more power to ya'll. Oh yeah, Frankie straightens his hair. HAHAHA!! Sorry man, if you weren't so mean and didn't try to get into my buisness and get your gayass friends to try and hurt me. I have so much better friends and they ALL make me laugh. Thank you, all of you. -Oh and a special thanks goes out to David and Jordan for making my chem. class so interesting. And Jen Tran for being wonderful and always making me smile. And Kenz for being there when i need to complain, and Linz for being there when we make mischeif,and travi making me cards and making me laugh, and paul making me wheeze, and THE FLOCK!! I love all ya'll. Well I'm off to study. Hope to get a phone call!!:) Speak!

mj

It's over

2004-12-23T05:45:27Z

Oh what a night. Well, I love Megan Alexandra Kochman. We went to target, got my sister a present, thank goodness. Then we sat, talked and drank Starbucks. Then I almost had a little emergency in World Market. Oh fun memories. I did get my brother a bucket of cotton candy though. He'll love it. Then we met Sam and Matt for meet the fockers. Oh it was such a funny movie, and so was the dog, Moses.

Well, the interesting part is, I ran into old friends. Yeah, part of it was fun. It's weird all these memories kept flooding back to me. I mean the summer. It was an amazing summer and it will always be amazing.But yet, it's good it's winter now, and i guess things change. FOR the better, who knows. It was weird though, I thought I would be all sad and you know, want the summer back. Not so much really. I don't know. I just don't really want it all back...at all. It was bittersweet hence the bitter. There was good times, bad times, It's a positive thing that things change.Well, I'm tired so that's all for now.

Anything beats hating terms

2004-12-22T00:15:46Z

Well, it's Tuesday. My room is clean and I'm so happy. I found all of these old pictures and they are so funny. I miss friends. I mean the real ones. Ones that are actual people. I liked everyone at Tal's house. Those people are awesome. Happy Birthday again is extended to Talia, and Brooke, and Steven.

Wow, I can't believe that christmas is in four days. I'm so excited about giving presents to people. It's great. Such a wonderful time of the year. I love all those meaningful commercials on t.v. They're so...what's the word? Touching. Yeah, cheesy I know. House comes on tonight, I love that guy with the austrailan accent. So cute. This entry is just a bunch of random thoughts thrown in, sorry ya'll. Kinda odd. But, i want to mention that I miss being little. While cleaning, I found alot of my stuff when I was a little girl. It brought back so many memories of simpler times. I just wish i could go back. BUT, that's not possible. So, enough with the dream world. Well I'm going to help my brother clean then take a bath. Have a good day ya'll.

-mj

Let the Rain Fall

2004-12-19T18:42:22Z

December 19, only a few days until Christmas! Well good news, the mono is almost gone. Make-up work is NOT almost done however. Oh well I'll just make the best of it. It's such a relief to be out of school though. It's as if a HUGE burden has been lifted. I want to go back to work though, I miss my girls!

ANYWAY, almost all my Christmas shopping is done. I only got one thing, something AMAZING for my mom. I can't wait to give it to her. So no snow today I guess. They said some flurries might come but I doubt it. That would be nice. I miss my friends.

Well I have to go try and make some sort of a dent in my room before I get tired and the mono kicks back in. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas vacation! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

-m.j.